The best jaren in the whole world

Today uncle jaren was holding Noah. Livy watched sweetly and said,

Livy, " Noah likes jaren a lot huh mommy?"
Mommy, " yes he does"
Livy, " I like Jaren a lot too, he's the best jaren in the whole world!"

A new bed

So over the weekend Livy and Noah spent the night at Grandma and grandpas....so we told  Livy we had a special surpise for her when she got home. I had taken the night and taken her crib apart and put up the toddler bed a kind friend lent us, that she has been asking for. She was so funny she screamed and jumped on it and has been playing on it everyday. She does really well staying in bed...then the next night she struggles....then she has a great night again. She is doing really well. It is so weird not to have 2 cribs in that room. I guess that's what happens! But I don't have to like it;)
One of the nights she was really struggling being scared in her room and I was venting to Shelley. She suggested putting a picture of jesus on the wall. So I had Livy help me hang it and explained he would keep her safe. She stayed in bed that night after that, and the next day was eager to climb in for nap time. As she climbed in the bed she pointed to the picture and said, " see that,  that's mah buddy jesus" .......Hahaha.
She later asked to go see nana and papa and before I could answer she said, " you know.....my friends nana and papa? They are my friends"

Im the best

So today Livy played with a little neighbor boy. Later his mom called me to tell that he said to her, " I really like playing with her I want to play with her again" so I told Livy about it later. When I told her what he said she got a shy look on her face and said rather sheepisly ...., " ya...im the best" 
Hahahaha

My Little drama queen

In the car on the way home from nana and papa Livy had just discovered we left her favorite blankey at their house. We had been giving her some left over fries.
Livy, " can I have more fries please?"
Mommy, " sweetie they are all gone now sorry"
Livy," awwwwwwww my blankie is all gone at nanas AND the food is all gone????"
Life just wasn't going her way tonight

Because he's a man

Livy : "dee said...these are MY m&ms .....but he was just teasing huh!"
Mommy, "ya, cuz he's silly huh!"
Livy, " ya haha cuz he's a man huh!"
Mommy, ( laughing ) " what?! Haha"
Livy, " I don't know ... geez mommy"

Post partem....by 3 years;)

My little baby sissy had her own baby today. I sat with my mom and dad and my older sissy....getting all weepy as she rolled by after her c-section. I am sitting here in the dark tonight remembering my first night with you Livy. I spent the night with my phone playing an artist "plumb" an album she must have written right after having a baby...because they are all sweet wonderful lullabys. Nothing can bring back every intense feeling of that first night as a mother as much as that music now. It played all night long. Reminding me you were mine, I was a mommy now. Today was the best day. I came home full of new baby joyness, and you and Noah were so great for the sitter I had worried all day. This has been my toughest week being a mother since you were born. Your ages don't mesh great right now...almost 2 and almost 3. Sometimes you get along so sweetly...but Noah doesn't understand most things and you are starting to connect behavior...with feelings for you....and you get your feelings hurt by him over and over. He loves you so much and you are the best sister already at such a young Age.
I can't remember this type of joy being in my daily life before you were born. It came and went, moments of joy and then back to the daily grind. Nothing can compare. A smile that is so big it seeps out of your eyes, both you and Noah. Sometimes when one of you smiles ,  it goes on and on....you keep staring so sweetly and full of love...its like your little bodies can't contain the purity and love and it is oozing from your eyes and smiles. I felt that tonight as we smiled at each other you and I , and then Noah and I. For the first second I feel like im melting...and then it just continues ....on and on....and then im a puddle. ...how shall I put you to bed now? Well I managed haha.
I remember those first months of your life. I spent so much time missing you! You slept haha you were a tiny preemie....and I thought it would go away....but even at 9 months I missed you when you slept. I remember sweet aunt ally advising me to enjoy that time and get some sleep...which I did sleep. But I couldn't keep from yearning to see your eyes looking at me. It never goes away. This week it wasn't as frequent haha you guys were pills and I was so ready for nap time!! But tonight its all too familiar. I miss you both terribly. Im exhausted....11p and only 2 hrs sleep last night...and im up, missing you both.  Missing your sweet and darling sense of humor Livy, your tenderness and pure love, and missing your smile Noah. Your smile that oozes love and doesn't stop until I have imploded and am a puddle on the ground. Im so happy for my mandeeloo tonight. So envious she is experiencing that first night....the night you begin your slow and steady turning into a puddle. The night the most pure form of love enters your life...and never leaves. How I adore you, my lovely's.

New vest

Nana and papa bought Noah what is called a compression vest. His therapist said he needed it but we couldn't afford it right away and they surpised us with it. Apparently it gives them input for an hour or so a couple times a day...and helps with intensity and him seeking input in negative ways. I noticed he liked it ...and felt like he was happier ....so I've done it a couple times a day....but I didnt really notice the difference until yesterday when I didnt use it at all.....akkkkk we will be taking it everywhere with us......I can't wait to try it in sacrament meeting tomorrow ....can I get a hallelujah?!

***Warning**** explicit content***

Well I've started teaching Livy piano lessons...just short little 10 minute lessons a day....she is showing a major interest im so excited to see how she does;) we also found her a toddler sized guitar at the D.I for christmas for 7 bucks weehaw! I've been so excited for this part of parenting yay!
So today I was helping Livy play a little....and here is what followed;)
Livy: " mommy I want my bitch"
Mommy:" errrr.....what do you want honey?"
Livy: " my bitch!"
Daddy (nearby) " what do you want honey?"
Livy: " my piano bitch!"
Ohhhhhhh!!! Hahahahaha so as a little back ground I don't keep the piano bench in the living room because it is sort of the play room for the kids and when im not in with them they climb like crazy! Hahaha she didnt want to play the piano standing up she wanted the piano bench! Ahhhh we are off to a good start;)!

Shhhhhhhh

I came in to get Livy for bed and she pretended to be asleep .....I snapped a picture....then I said "okay tootsie nice try its time for bed "

She kept her eyes closed and her lips pretty still and said....." shhhhhhhh livys sleeping"

Ahhh man I am never going to survive her cute manipulations;)

say wah?

Today Livy said to me over and over

"Mommy I want patter pee!"

I kept saying  what honey I don't understand?
"I want patter pee!!"

Later on I put on Peter Pan and she said , " yay!! PATTER PEE!"

LOL

Editing fun

Just having some good times playing with my photo editor on my phone.

Got a problem here

Livy woke from her nap and called to me

"Mommy I've got a problem here"

I thought it was so funny to hear her say I made her repeat it a couple times by pretending I didnt hear her

Well I guess she did have a little problem....she got her arm stuck in the tag from the inside of her shirt. ..still so funny to hear her use everyday phrasing like that. Cute little stink.

Search for the Oil

Today I was getting ready to dry my hair and couldn't find the oil I put in my hair normally. I was looking all around the house for it and and Livy was looking in her toy baskets to help. She kept saying encouraging things haha. "come on mommy, keep trying, you can do it ...." such a little sweet heart. 

Finally I found it and shouted YAY I found it! 

Livy said, " good JOB mommy I'm so proud of you, You're the MAN!"

oh man I could eat her up

Noah is so so sweet lately. The sensitivity in his personality is really coming out

Granted he is hitting us first....so that he can say sorry with a sweet hug, but we will take it lol. 

Livy truely has been blessed with maturity well beyond her age. She will say to me, "mommy he's just a baby he doesn't understand." I catch her watching him , as he watches a movie or something funny, and laughing at him and looking at him all motherly, she will then look at me to make sure I'm watching him being cute. She hugs him so often and normally it is met with him hitting her or scratching her. She gets her feelings hurt but she always still hugs him. He is letting her more often now, I have even caught them cuddling on occasion. I hope she can always maintain such maturity and patience with his short comings as he grows. Of course she loses her temper with him too, but it has almost always been such a long time coming that I wished I had intervened earlier and not let her deal with it herself. I forget she is just 2 not 12. 

he really is so adorable and so much fun. He has started actually responding and stopping himself from doing something or running away, its a huge breath of fresh air to have him begin to listen ....a little:) We love you so much Noah. 

I realized today, that if Noah and Livy both decide to serve missions....they could end up leaving the same wednesday! She will turn 19 and he 18 within a week of each other.....I will be in need of some Ben and Jerry's that week if any of you are still around:))

My little man

 

 

 

 

I can't believe how fast the time is going. Noah has been quite an adventure and makes our lives so fun and exciting. Early in the fall this year he finally had his appointment at the Center for children with special needs out at the U of U. For now they have diagnosed him with PDD-NOS which falls way off to the left of the autism scale. It is a very high functioning type of autism, and therapy really does make a difference. He likely won't need to be in a separate class in school which is very good news!  I go back and forth, feeling like 20 months is way too young for diagnosis, and "labeling" him, and yet every time I talk to his pediatrician or the therapists I realize we are doing the right thing regardless. Early intervention will only help, and IS, and if his symptoms subside and he seems to be more typical and less of his issues are prevelant then YAY!  So I am all on board for helping his brain form appropiate emotional response pathways, and between 18months to 3 years they are the most receptive and pliable. I am super excited about some of the progress we have seen over the last couple months.

 

 

Noah is extremely musical for such a young age. Livy is too but it comes very natural to him. Because he is so behind with language he has trouble communictating to us, but something that always seems to communicate to him is music. If we are changing activities, or going from inside to outside we have a song we play on my phone, he loves it and it helps him more willingly accept a change. He cant sing the words to songs, but he has great rythym, he will say ya ya ya...in beat and most times even in tune with what livy is singing.

 

 

 

The most exciting progress for me has been in the last couple weeks. He can sign a couple things, like more and eat, and say momma and dadda and shoe because he is obsessed with shoes haha. But part of his disorder is that he just cant seem to connect using his words or gestures for communication. He has been able to sign "more" for a long long time, but doesnt use it to actually ask for more, no matter how much we prod and repeat and repeat. Just the other day noah pointed to a banana, and said, "nana",  then signed "eat" !! I was so excited I felt so emotional, It feels like I will really be able to get to know him better as he learns to communicate his feelings and desires more with me.  I hope this is the beginning of more jumps in communication!

Noah was never a cuddly baby. Infact the exact opposite haha. We had to swaddle him straight jacket style for over a year to calm him enough to get him to sleep. I'm actually in the middle of making him a weighted blanket for his bed with bean bags in pockets. I think he will love it and it will help him really feel secure. My absolute favorite though, was when I had swaddled him and put him in his bed, I would put my hand on his face and sing to him and he would grab my arm with both hands and wouldnt let go until he fell asleep. I could have stayed like that forever:) Then as his symptoms started showing and he got more difficult, that little bit of cuddling went away:(

Now though these last 2 weeks it is suddenly back. He grabs my arm again at night when I am singing to him and if you think I will EVER pull it away from him think again! He lets go after a minute but it is my favorite part of the day! He is suddenly showing compassion, and well, AFTER he has hit someone and we ask him to say sorry he has started hugging and kissing. He has such a sweet spirit and kind heart he just doesnt connect pain with proper emotions yet. He doesnt understand he hurts someone because he just doesnt process pain the same way as us. He will walk off the sofa , just stand up and walk off, and fall flat on his face , time after time after time. It is tough to make sure I never leave him out of my fast running distance where I can get to him in 2 seconds, he would walk right off our back cement steps and fall face first we catch him mid air all the time. It makes me hate having that irrigation ditch in the front yard, but I am just learning he will always need to be monitored. Livy processes danger, and did even at his age.He just doesn't.

 

I love you my little Noah so much! He has such a spunky personality just like his sister. He keeps us laughing everyday. I dont know how to explain the sound you make when you stick your tongue out and blow, like "neener neener" type sound haha, so It makes his little funny thing tonight hard to blog. But he was screaming at the top of his lungs in the car like he loves to do, and we try to just remain patient because no amount of level of asking him to stop ever works anyways. So we just endured but this time it got worse and worse and finally Jordan yelled, NO BUDDY ENOUGH, and he stopped suddenly and made the neener neener sound! We busted up laughing for the rest of the ride. Cute little stinker pot (thats what livy calls him)

 

And now that Jordan just called to me that Obama has won the 2012 election....and I feel fully dejected, I shall retire from blogging tonight. bummer.

 

Love you Noah



First real hair cut

 

 

Well I finally got a haircut myself....that makes nearly 3 years since my last was right after Livy was born!! I know I know SHUP! So we figured it was time for Livy and Noah to experience the hot seat!

 

 

 

Livy did amazing. She loves anything she can do that is something GIRLS do or should do so I knew she would be really excited.

 

Noah I knew would be really nervous. He started in on his tantrums right off the bat and I thought it probably was out of the question. But our smart stylist  grabbed a sucker and that was all it took LOL who knew!

 

 

 

 

 

funny enough I forgot to take some after pictures after his hair dried and I styled hers. But still it was a fun day!



First Manipulative Prayer

Man I would NEVER have thought she would be such a clever little thing so young lol.

 

Today I was drying my hair while the little sass was going potty:) she kept kicking the door into the back of my legs and making them buckle. I made the mistake of laughing at first and then it was a fun game. Finally after asking her to stop a zillion times of course ....

 

Mommy, "Livy if you keep doing that I'm going to have to give you a time out when you are done"

 

Livy, (got really quiet for a bit....and then this lol.....) ..." Dear Heaveny Fader, thank thee this day. Please bless mommy to be nice to me, name of Jesus, Amen"

 

uggggg Im so in trouble!!!

 

Trick or Treat!

I know every parent goes through all these first with their oldest and thinks they are just so cute, then you look back and realize it may have only been so cute to you!..But It was so much fun to hear livy say "trick or treat" tonight, Chatting with neighbors about her costume and noah's costume, and never leaving out, "and I  love my cousins so much!" 

I'm adding pictures for halloween from both the trunk or treat at our parents, and halloween night.