My little baby sissy had her own baby today. I sat with my mom and dad and my older sissy....getting all weepy as she rolled by after her c-section. I am sitting here in the dark tonight remembering my first night with you Livy. I spent the night with my phone playing an artist "plumb" an album she must have written right after having a baby...because they are all sweet wonderful lullabys. Nothing can bring back every intense feeling of that first night as a mother as much as that music now. It played all night long. Reminding me you were mine, I was a mommy now. Today was the best day. I came home full of new baby joyness, and you and Noah were so great for the sitter I had worried all day. This has been my toughest week being a mother since you were born. Your ages don't mesh great right now...almost 2 and almost 3. Sometimes you get along so sweetly...but Noah doesn't understand most things and you are starting to connect behavior...with feelings for you....and you get your feelings hurt by him over and over. He loves you so much and you are the best sister already at such a young Age.
I can't remember this type of joy being in my daily life before you were born. It came and went, moments of joy and then back to the daily grind. Nothing can compare. A smile that is so big it seeps out of your eyes, both you and Noah. Sometimes when one of you smiles , it goes on and on....you keep staring so sweetly and full of love...its like your little bodies can't contain the purity and love and it is oozing from your eyes and smiles. I felt that tonight as we smiled at each other you and I , and then Noah and I. For the first second I feel like im melting...and then it just continues ....on and on....and then im a puddle. ...how shall I put you to bed now? Well I managed haha.
I remember those first months of your life. I spent so much time missing you! You slept haha you were a tiny preemie....and I thought it would go away....but even at 9 months I missed you when you slept. I remember sweet aunt ally advising me to enjoy that time and get some sleep...which I did sleep. But I couldn't keep from yearning to see your eyes looking at me. It never goes away. This week it wasn't as frequent haha you guys were pills and I was so ready for nap time!! But tonight its all too familiar. I miss you both terribly. Im exhausted....11p and only 2 hrs sleep last night...and im up, missing you both. Missing your sweet and darling sense of humor Livy, your tenderness and pure love, and missing your smile Noah. Your smile that oozes love and doesn't stop until I have imploded and am a puddle on the ground. Im so happy for my mandeeloo tonight. So envious she is experiencing that first night....the night you begin your slow and steady turning into a puddle. The night the most pure form of love enters your life...and never leaves. How I adore you, my lovely's.
I can't remember this type of joy being in my daily life before you were born. It came and went, moments of joy and then back to the daily grind. Nothing can compare. A smile that is so big it seeps out of your eyes, both you and Noah. Sometimes when one of you smiles , it goes on and on....you keep staring so sweetly and full of love...its like your little bodies can't contain the purity and love and it is oozing from your eyes and smiles. I felt that tonight as we smiled at each other you and I , and then Noah and I. For the first second I feel like im melting...and then it just continues ....on and on....and then im a puddle. ...how shall I put you to bed now? Well I managed haha.
I remember those first months of your life. I spent so much time missing you! You slept haha you were a tiny preemie....and I thought it would go away....but even at 9 months I missed you when you slept. I remember sweet aunt ally advising me to enjoy that time and get some sleep...which I did sleep. But I couldn't keep from yearning to see your eyes looking at me. It never goes away. This week it wasn't as frequent haha you guys were pills and I was so ready for nap time!! But tonight its all too familiar. I miss you both terribly. Im exhausted....11p and only 2 hrs sleep last night...and im up, missing you both. Missing your sweet and darling sense of humor Livy, your tenderness and pure love, and missing your smile Noah. Your smile that oozes love and doesn't stop until I have imploded and am a puddle on the ground. Im so happy for my mandeeloo tonight. So envious she is experiencing that first night....the night you begin your slow and steady turning into a puddle. The night the most pure form of love enters your life...and never leaves. How I adore you, my lovely's.
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