The best jaren in the whole world

Today uncle jaren was holding Noah. Livy watched sweetly and said,

Livy, " Noah likes jaren a lot huh mommy?"
Mommy, " yes he does"
Livy, " I like Jaren a lot too, he's the best jaren in the whole world!"

A new bed

So over the weekend Livy and Noah spent the night at Grandma and grandpas....so we told  Livy we had a special surpise for her when she got home. I had taken the night and taken her crib apart and put up the toddler bed a kind friend lent us, that she has been asking for. She was so funny she screamed and jumped on it and has been playing on it everyday. She does really well staying in bed...then the next night she struggles....then she has a great night again. She is doing really well. It is so weird not to have 2 cribs in that room. I guess that's what happens! But I don't have to like it;)
One of the nights she was really struggling being scared in her room and I was venting to Shelley. She suggested putting a picture of jesus on the wall. So I had Livy help me hang it and explained he would keep her safe. She stayed in bed that night after that, and the next day was eager to climb in for nap time. As she climbed in the bed she pointed to the picture and said, " see that,  that's mah buddy jesus" .......Hahaha.
She later asked to go see nana and papa and before I could answer she said, " you know.....my friends nana and papa? They are my friends"

Im the best

So today Livy played with a little neighbor boy. Later his mom called me to tell that he said to her, " I really like playing with her I want to play with her again" so I told Livy about it later. When I told her what he said she got a shy look on her face and said rather sheepisly ...., " ya...im the best" 
Hahahaha

My Little drama queen

In the car on the way home from nana and papa Livy had just discovered we left her favorite blankey at their house. We had been giving her some left over fries.
Livy, " can I have more fries please?"
Mommy, " sweetie they are all gone now sorry"
Livy," awwwwwwww my blankie is all gone at nanas AND the food is all gone????"
Life just wasn't going her way tonight

Because he's a man

Livy : "dee said...these are MY m&ms .....but he was just teasing huh!"
Mommy, "ya, cuz he's silly huh!"
Livy, " ya haha cuz he's a man huh!"
Mommy, ( laughing ) " what?! Haha"
Livy, " I don't know ... geez mommy"

Post partem....by 3 years;)

My little baby sissy had her own baby today. I sat with my mom and dad and my older sissy....getting all weepy as she rolled by after her c-section. I am sitting here in the dark tonight remembering my first night with you Livy. I spent the night with my phone playing an artist "plumb" an album she must have written right after having a baby...because they are all sweet wonderful lullabys. Nothing can bring back every intense feeling of that first night as a mother as much as that music now. It played all night long. Reminding me you were mine, I was a mommy now. Today was the best day. I came home full of new baby joyness, and you and Noah were so great for the sitter I had worried all day. This has been my toughest week being a mother since you were born. Your ages don't mesh great right now...almost 2 and almost 3. Sometimes you get along so sweetly...but Noah doesn't understand most things and you are starting to connect behavior...with feelings for you....and you get your feelings hurt by him over and over. He loves you so much and you are the best sister already at such a young Age.
I can't remember this type of joy being in my daily life before you were born. It came and went, moments of joy and then back to the daily grind. Nothing can compare. A smile that is so big it seeps out of your eyes, both you and Noah. Sometimes when one of you smiles ,  it goes on and on....you keep staring so sweetly and full of love...its like your little bodies can't contain the purity and love and it is oozing from your eyes and smiles. I felt that tonight as we smiled at each other you and I , and then Noah and I. For the first second I feel like im melting...and then it just continues ....on and on....and then im a puddle. ...how shall I put you to bed now? Well I managed haha.
I remember those first months of your life. I spent so much time missing you! You slept haha you were a tiny preemie....and I thought it would go away....but even at 9 months I missed you when you slept. I remember sweet aunt ally advising me to enjoy that time and get some sleep...which I did sleep. But I couldn't keep from yearning to see your eyes looking at me. It never goes away. This week it wasn't as frequent haha you guys were pills and I was so ready for nap time!! But tonight its all too familiar. I miss you both terribly. Im exhausted....11p and only 2 hrs sleep last night...and im up, missing you both.  Missing your sweet and darling sense of humor Livy, your tenderness and pure love, and missing your smile Noah. Your smile that oozes love and doesn't stop until I have imploded and am a puddle on the ground. Im so happy for my mandeeloo tonight. So envious she is experiencing that first night....the night you begin your slow and steady turning into a puddle. The night the most pure form of love enters your life...and never leaves. How I adore you, my lovely's.

New vest

Nana and papa bought Noah what is called a compression vest. His therapist said he needed it but we couldn't afford it right away and they surpised us with it. Apparently it gives them input for an hour or so a couple times a day...and helps with intensity and him seeking input in negative ways. I noticed he liked it ...and felt like he was happier ....so I've done it a couple times a day....but I didnt really notice the difference until yesterday when I didnt use it at all.....akkkkk we will be taking it everywhere with us......I can't wait to try it in sacrament meeting tomorrow ....can I get a hallelujah?!