I never anticipated this maternal feeling taking over everything about me. It seems that everything I ever was, and ever wanted to be, has led to this. To be a mommy. How can it be that this tiny being that can't speak, and mainly only cries, eats poops, screams and poops some more, and is conscious perhaps 20% of the time, can have my heart so all encompassingly?
How is it that I never felt like a woman? Not in this way. I always knew this is what I wanted out of life. I knew fairly clearly that my life was to be a mother. But I never knew. I never imagined, that she would bring to me such a pure feeling of gender identity. I have worked so hard. Trying to be successful in school, and at work, and in this world in general. How could I have known that none of those feelings of satisfaction could compare to even the smallest satisfactions of motherhood. I hear her cry, and something inside of me clouds over anything that may have been in my mind, and the urge to comfort her and hold her is more overwhelming than any urge I have felt in this life so far. Once she is in my arms, the feeling of comforting her, and carressing her, is a greater feeling of accomplishment than anything I have ever felt.
How much do I love being a woman!? What a wonderful role to have been blessed with in life. What a wonderful path to the eternities! A road of loving, comforting, nurturing, holding, consoling, and teaching......I'll take it! Men can have their easy path into fatherhood....(.by easy I mean the fun part, and the not having any of the physical pain part!) I'll take it a thousand times over for my livy, for my family, to fulfill part of my role of womanhood. mmmmmmmmmm. I'll say it again. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
.well the entire house has awful wallpaper. But it is laid over plaster, and there are like six layers. So by the time you get to the bottom layer it peels the plaster off with it no matter what technique you use. We learned that with the living room so Jordy figured as we remodeled a room for livy we would do somthing over the wallpaper. So we ripped the carpet out....and ripped off my father-in-law's idea he used for the walls in his master bedroom! 
a couple coats of paint....
Yay! 2 rooms down....entire house to go.........oh ya and zen garden 10 year project=)
How is it that I never felt like a woman? Not in this way. I always knew this is what I wanted out of life. I knew fairly clearly that my life was to be a mother. But I never knew. I never imagined, that she would bring to me such a pure feeling of gender identity. I have worked so hard. Trying to be successful in school, and at work, and in this world in general. How could I have known that none of those feelings of satisfaction could compare to even the smallest satisfactions of motherhood. I hear her cry, and something inside of me clouds over anything that may have been in my mind, and the urge to comfort her and hold her is more overwhelming than any urge I have felt in this life so far. Once she is in my arms, the feeling of comforting her, and carressing her, is a greater feeling of accomplishment than anything I have ever felt. 
How much do I love being a woman!? What a wonderful role to have been blessed with in life. What a wonderful path to the eternities! A road of loving, comforting, nurturing, holding, consoling, and teaching......I'll take it! Men can have their easy path into fatherhood....(.by easy I mean the fun part, and the not having any of the physical pain part!) I'll take it a thousand times over for my livy, for my family, to fulfill part of my role of womanhood. mmmmmmmmmm. I'll say it again. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
The delivery went just fine. It got a little scary because she wasn't tolerating the labor very well in the end, her heart rate would drop every time I had a contraction, so as we just hurried to get her out! She was 4 lbs and 15 oz and seemed to be healthy and strong! 
Her appetite took off and at this mornings weigh in she has gained 2 oz, and is continueing to steadily gain weight. They have released us for check out in the morning (sunday morning) as long as everything continues along the way she is going now! We are so excited to get her home and have her in her own cradle! We are so thankful for the love and support of our wonderful family and friends and we want you all to know how incredibly blessed we are and thankful to have you each in our lives. We love little livy more than it seems possible after such a short time knowing her. We are so excited to start our life with our new little family member. We are so thankful for everything heavenly father has blessed us with as she has come into the world, it just keeps piling up and we don't seem to have the capacity for such intensifying gratitude in our hearts. We are overwhelmed and amazed at how the lord helps things come together for you when you least expect it, and when all seems lost. I'm so thankful for the gospel and the savior and his love. Everyone of you have added to my testimony everyday, and I am so greatful for your examples and love. We love you all. And thank you for your love and support again.